It's 33 C, and it feels like 36 C...

The only cure for this is a pint of Erdinger.

High School Reunion: Update

General observations about the night:

- It seems like almost everyone in Calgary is working in the oil and gas sector. Which isn't really that surprising.

- Only a small number of people had gotten fat. Most of them seemed to be looking after themselves.

- At least five people told me that I'd lost weight since high school. Really? Since high school?

- I went up to talk to someone I thought I recognized, and then realized (two days later) that she was not, in fact, the person I thought she was. This would explain why that conversation was so awkward.

- There are still people who go to the bar with the sole intention of getting right liquored up.

- A significant amount of my time was spent looking at people and thinking, "You look vaguely familiar, but I have no idea what your name is." But, then again, that's how I spend most of my life.

- Many of the people who I'd liked to have seen weren't there....

- ...but, I was glad to catch up with some of the people who were there that I hadn't expected to see.

In closing, it's probably best that no one tried to hug me - otherwise, I would have been tempted to pinch my friend Robyn and push her into the girl's bathroom, just to complete the row.

High School Reunion

By sheer chance, I ended up being back in Calgary the same week as my high school reunion. In anticipation, I made this:

Resigned

My, my - how quickly a year goes by.

The three of you who still read this blog may recall that it was about a year ago that I decided to take a year-long leave of absence from my job to pursue a charitable side-project on a full time basis. And now, that year is up.

I'd had a number of grandiose ideas when I took this year off. I would establish a new charity, improve my work-life balance, become a published author, turn the charitable project into a paying job, and finally beat Fantasy General. Well, I'm proud to say that I've completed 3 of the 5 goals I set out for myself - though, unfortunately, none of the 3 will help me buy groceries. And then my year was up. So, I quit my job.

And now, those other two goals (either would be fine - I'm not particularly picky) are much higher up on the priority list. I actually do feel like I'm very close to turning this into a paying gig, but a year's a year, and that's all you get. And, sometimes, the gods demand a sacrifice...

If nothing else, I've had a lot of time to reflect over the past year. Though I may have to put paycheque before passion at some point in the future, that day is not today. I love what I'm doing, and am very grateful for the opportunity to be able to spend my daylight hours the way that I do - hanging out in my condo, helping to run a women's school in a warzone.

You know, when I'm not reading Terry Pratchett or playing Mario Kart. Which is what I'm going to do right now.

It's the little things in life...

This makes me very happy.

Broken

I did my Battle Fitness Test last weekend, which consisted of a 13 km rucksack march and a 100 m fireman's carry. I had intended to have gone for a few more practice runs prior to getting out there and actually doing it, but could never seem to find the time. Besides, I'm in the best shape of my life these days! Surely I'll be able to do one quick little march!

And I did. It was a little over 2 hours of marching around in a circle with 55 lbs (including helmet, rifle, tac vest and small pack), but my body was able to handle the demands of the march with relative easy.

My feet, on the other hand... well, let's just say that I'll take a bit more time to toughen my feet next time. And I'll wear proper socks. And use the summer boots, instead of the wet weather boots. And, in general, be less of a dumbass. If there's one thing that helps a lesson stick, it's a healthy dose of pain.

This means that I'm more or less tethered to my condo for the next day or so, which gives me sufficient time to write an update. Here's what I've been up to over the past month or so:

Off to the Cottage for a few days: February isn't the best time to be out the cottage, but it's as good a time as any to drink beer, play Call of Duty, smoke cigars, eat three pounds of red meat, and polish it all off with a midnight showing of Dog Soldiers.

Science Fair!: I was thrilled to hear that Golden Words has brought Science Fair back, and it proved an excellent rallying point for the Haz-Beenz of yesteryear. I thoroughly enjoyed being a judge, and have placed my flame-adorned lab coat in the closet should need arise. Although I recognize that things change over the years (despite the many, many times I started a sentence with, "Back in my day..."), the one tradition that I will dearly miss is that of the drink tickets. How do you have a Science Fair without drink tickets? But I digress...

Went to New York for a weekend: I stayed with a friend for a weekend and got to see what it's like to live like a New Yorker for a few days. If you ever get the chance to stay with a friend who lives in New York, do it. I learned the following: bars in New York do not close at a set time, so you can very easily end up staying out until 5 am; New Yorkers do not cook and if you offer to make them a home cooked meal, they will look at you as though you just offered to make them a suit of armour; it can cost upwards of US$6 for a tall boy can in a foam sleeve; and there is an Australian meat pie shop near the East Village that sells the world's best post-drinking food.

Renovate Closets: We decided that we no longer wanted to have all of our stuff in huge piles on the bottom of the closet floor, and so we spent this St. Patrick's Day (top o' the practical storage solutions t' ye!) having our closets redone. I don't know if anyone who reads this (if anyone still reads this) has a condo, but I'll say that custom closets are a great investment for anyone looking for more storage space. Unfortunately, my suggestion to turn the den closet into a walk-in humidor was politely declined.

Watched lots of Top Gear: For those of you who haven't heard of this "motoring" show, it's excellent. Go watch it. It's not in any particular order, so you can start with a recent season and work your way back. Season 12 was perhaps the best I've seen yet, but season 11 definitely had its merits. Curious? You can check it out here.

Yup, that's been about it... that and work, of course. (It's going well, BTW.)

Penny Pinching

On first impression, I might not strike you as someone you'd call "frugal" - I have a fondness for scotch and cigars, drive a luxury car, enjoy travelling, etc. - but I'm something of a penny-pincher in other areas of my life, which helps to cover the defray the costs of Cuban robustos and single malt.

I'm always on the look-out for new ways to save money without making sacrifices. So, I'd like to share some of my cost-cutting strategies and would invite you to post yours, as well.

1.) Skype: Although I've only started using Skype recently, I'm absolutely hooked. The best feature by far is the $3/month dial-out service, which covers unlimited calls to anywhere in North America. Based on this, I've been able to trim back my Rogers cell phone plan by another $17, plus tax.

Savings: $15 per month x 12 months = $180, or the cost of a very fine dinner for two at AquaTerra.

2.) Insurance: When it comes to car insurance, I like my coverage low and my deductible high. Having a $2,000 deductible vice a $500 deductible saves between $200 and $500 per year - though I am careful to ensure that I do have liability coverage of at last $1M, which actually isn't that expensive.

I'm also careful to read through the cardholder agreement for credit cards, so I know whether they cover additional warranties, car rental insurance, travel insurance, and so on. I've saved at least $700 in hotel and restaurant costs as the result of travel insurance, alone.

Savings: $1,200 per year, or a week-long trip to Costa Rica during the low season.

3.) Rewards Points: I'm careful to compare the different Visa cards and the rewards they offer. When I switched to a RBC Avion card from the CIBC Aerogold*, they waived the annual fee and gave me 15,000 travel miles, or a free $350 plane ticket (tax incl). If I put on another $15,000 on my card over the year, that's $700 in free travel.

Savings: $700, or three boxes of Cuaba Exclusivos and a bottle of 16 y/o Lagavulin.

4.) Low-Cost Banking: All of my banking is either done at PC Financial (which has no fees) or with institutions where I have the minimum balance to avoid monthly fees. StatsCan says that the average Canadian spends $15 per month on bank fees, or $180 per year.

I also don't allow my credit cards to carry a balance. I've said this before, and I'll say it again - credit card debt is the financial equivalent of a sucking chest wound. It's nature's way of telling you to slow down. I don't even want to think about what average credit card debt is, but I've seen estimates of around $2200 per person, which sounds about right to me. That's around $400 per year, just in interest.

Savings: $580, or enough to purchase sufficient premium gasoline for 5,400 km in an SUV.

5.) Brown-bag Lunch: Before I worked from home, I was one of the few people in my office to bring a lunch with me. Even those who did bring a lunch usually brought some sort of frozen dinner. I'd estimate that the price difference between a cafeteria and a brown-bag lunch is around $6 per meal. It doesn't take long before that starts to ad up in a big way.

Savings: For an employee who eats at the cafeteria every day for 49 weeks a year, you're looking at an annual cost of $1470, or 80 pounds of gourmet, fair trade, shade-grown coffee.

Okay, your turn...

*For a while, I quite liked CIBC Aerogold - then Aeroplan waited four months to inform me that my reward flight had been cancelled, thereby causing me to lose my hotel deposit. When I confronted them about this, they told me to pound salt. When I explained my situation to RBC, they very kindly offered to waive my first annual fee and give me the points for joining.

My favorite part was when I cancelled the CIBC card and they - quite naturally - asked why. At the end of my tirade, all they could say was, "Oh, I see."

Back in the Blogosphere

It's been a long time since I last wrote anything here. In fact, I probably wouldn't be writing anything right now had I not partaken in a comical ice-induced wipeout while leaving an elk farm, thereby negating my ability to exercise this afternoon. So, I'm going to blog instead.

This has been going around, so I figured it would be a good way to get back into the game...

Do you like blue cheese? Yes. I like it best crumbled atop a nice hunk of filet mignon, preferably with some particularly strong red wine.

Have you ever smoked? I have two humidors full of cigars, but I rarely smoke them any more. I do still enjoy a pipe on occasion. As for cigarettes - and I'm not proud to admit this - I have occasionally pretended to smoke them to facilitate hitting on smokers of the lady persuasion at bars. But I never inhaled.

Do you own a gun? If you mean, do I have a firearm that I have purchased for personal use? Then no. If you mean, is there an assault rifle under lock and key that has been assigned for my professional use, should the national security of Canada require it? Then yes.

What flavor of Kool Aid is your favorite? Kool Aid is perhaps one of the last things I would every drink, somewhere between Clamato and a rain puddle with a fine layer of gasoline on top.

Do you get nervous before dentist appointments? Nope.

What do you think of hot dogs? Tasty, but it's hard to think of something worse that you could ingest into your body. The one exception would be the Buddha Dog in Picton, which does a mean gourmet hot dog (with a wide range of cheeses and sauces to choose from).

Favorite Christmas movie? Elf.

Favorite thing to drink in the morning? Francesco's Coffee, Guatemala French Roast, with proceeds going to my charity.

Can you do push ups? I don't think they let you become a Sergeant in the Forces without doing your share of push ups.

What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My grandfather's watch - though I don't know if you could call it "jewelry".

Favorite hobby? Travelling. I like planning the trip, exploring the country, taking photos, writing about it... all of that.

Do you have ADD? I usually have pretty good focus. Not all the time, but usually. When I am distracted, it's because of my tendency to procrastinate, rather than ADD.

What's one trait you hate about yourself? My tendency to procrastinate.

Middle name? John.

Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.
1. Why did I slip on that ice? The guy even warned me on my way out the door. I'm going to have a wicked bruise.
2. I'm hungry. I should go have some pita and hummus.
3. The damned cats better stay away from the flowers.

Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. Coffee, Water, Wine.

Current worry? The usual - that some lunatic will attempt to take out the school, our Director, our students, or some combination thereof.

Current hate right now? Said lunatics. Though, to be honest, it's more of a pity than a hate.

Favorite place to be? Floating in an innertube at the lake, beer in one hand and cigar in the other.

How did you bring in the new year? At the condo, celebrating with a few good friends.

Where would you like to go? Andrea and I are putting together an around-the-world trip for next year.

Name three people who will complete this. No idea.

Do you own slippers? Not really necessary.

What shirt are you wearing? My favourite golf shirt - the blue one I picked up at Barba Roja in Costa Rica. It has a picture of a Jolly Roger with a red beard and a pipe.

Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I wouldn't mind it, but I prefer cotton.

Can you whistle? Kind of.

Favorite color? Dark green.

Would you be a pirate? Not so much a pirate, more of a privateer sailing under a letter of marque. It has all the romance of being a pirate, but I'd still have the sense of serving some sort of grander purpose. (Clearly, I haven't given this any thought at all...)

What songs do you sing in the shower? You know... a little Ludacris, every now and then.

Favorite girl's name: I really haven't given this any thought.

Favorite boy's name: Same. But I would like to see my Grandfather's name (Kenneth) continue on.

What's in your pocket right now? Nothing.

Last thing that made you laugh? This is actually a little embarassing - http://www.slatev.com/ch_wwit.html

What vehicle do you drive? A 1999 Mercedes-Benz ML430 SUV. It's about as politically correct as punching an orphan in the kidneys.

Worst injury you've ever had? 3rd degree ankle sprain I suffered during basic. It was pretty nasty.

Do you love where you live? I love our condo, but I wish Ottawa was a bit more lively.

How many TVs do you have in your house? One. That's enough.

Who is your loudest friend? I think I have to give this to a collective - my immediate family. Whenever we get together, we always try and talk over one another, gradually increasing the volume as we go.

Do you have any pets? Two cats - Whiskey and Socrates (a.k.a. Socks)

Does someone have a crush on you? No idea.

Your favourite book? Starship Troopers, by Robert Heinlein.

Do you collect anything? I like picking up entertaining golf shirts when I travel.

Favorite Sports Team? The Team Canada Hockey Team. Otherwise, the Calgary Flames - but I'm not a huge sports guy.

What song do you want played at your funeral? Troublemaker by Weezer.

No Words Required

What's your sign?

This was in the horoscopes for today (emphasis mine):

"The starry vault is delivering an encouraging message. The power of Uranus is reaching a crescendo. It suggests the chance to wipe the slate clean and start again in an area of life where lately things have become both too complicated and stale."

Ah-HA-hA-haaa-haaaa-haaa-haaa*gasp*haaaaaaa!

Sigh. I'm about 6 years old.

Maestro...?

I'm looking to expand my musical horizons. I consider many of the regular readers of this blog to have excellent taste in music, so I'd like to ask for suggestions. What new (or old) albums should I pick up?

Half Way

It's been six months since I began my leave of absence from my previous job. Today, I'm taking stock of how close I am to reaching the goals that I set out for myself during this time off.

1.) Further develop my charitable project.

As expected, this is what's taken up most of my time and borne the most results. I'm very happy with where the project is at right now - we have a great group of volunteers, our funding situation has improved, and our local partner is helping more people than ever before. Even though this now my full-time gig, I still really enjoy the work I'm doing.

Verdict: Success.

2.) Become a published author.

This was perhaps not the most realistic of goals to try to accomplish in a year, particularly while going after #1 at the same time. I might as well have added: 2.) Become an international rock superstar or 2.) Learn how to turn lead into gold. That's not to say that I haven't spent more time writing - I've been taking more time to write in my journal and (intend to) spend more time blogging. But a full-length novel or work of non-fiction? Not this year.

Verdict: Deadline extended.

3.) Turn the charitable project into a paying job.

Once I gave up on the idea of becoming a published author by May 2009, I started to consider other ways in which I might pay the bills. Sure, there were plenty of options out there - I could join the circus or participate in medical testing, just for starters. However, I decided to take the lazy route and consider what would need to happen if I wanted to draw a salary from my current full-time engagement. And the verdict? HaAhhhHaHaHaaa! That's a good one.

Seriously, it could happen, but not the way things are set up right now. Regardless of whether I'm getting paid, this project needs to become self-sustaining at some point, and the same changes that would make this possible could also provide a salary. So, it's possible - just not by May 2009, that's all.

Verdict: Deadline also extended.

4.) Improve my work-life balance.

Back before I took the time off, I read a news story about a guy in Japan who actually worked himself to death (the Japanese even have a word for this: karoshi). The guy was working something like 90 to 100 hours a week. I remember thinking to myself, "Hmm... that's not that much time at work." I knew instantly that I needed to improve my work-life balance.

This was actually harder than I thought it would be. In my rush to prove to myself that everything was just fine and I could still earn a living while on my leave, I took on a whole whack of work with the Army. For a while, I was pretty much back where I started - except with less money. After a few weeks of this, I managed to convince myself that I could actually not earn a salary for a while, and that money could come out of bank accounts as well as go into them.

Since then, everything's been tickety-boo. I was the kind of guy who would renew his license plate three months too late. I would've been late for my own birthday, assuming that I'd actually remembered to write it on my To Do list. Even six months later, I'm still getting caught up. But at least the pile is shrinking instead of growing.

So, the work week's back around 40 to 50 hours per week, and I actually have time for fun again. Oh, and my health has improved to the point where I no longer consider aerosol cheese to be one of the five basic food groups.

Verdict: Success.

5.) Beat Fantasy General.

Not yet. Those damned Ogre Centaurs keep routing my Samurais, and I can never seem to bring up my siege engines in time. But I'll get it one day, I promise you that.

Verdict: To be continued...

I suppose it's time to deal with the obvious question: What will I do six months from now, when the leave of absence comes to an end? The answer is: I don't know. Or rather, I do know, but I don't know whether I'll make the same decision six months from now, when it's for real.

Although I quite enjoyed my previous job, I find that I like this one more when all things are considered. What's more, I haven't really taken the leap of faith yet. It's one thing to take a leave of absence, but it's quite another to quit your job in the pursuit of your dream.

Sometimes, the gods demand a sacrifice. I have a feeling that, before they'll let me have what I'm looking for, I'll need to haul my nice, fat, secure job onto the altar.

And you know what? I'm okay with that. I may not be able to spend money like I used to or be able to answer succinctly when asked, "What do you do?", but I don't care. Of all the stuff I could be doing, this is what I want to do the most.

Prague

Andrea and I went to Prague last week. If you don't have a lot of time, I'll leave it at this: If you go to Prague, bring sensible shoes.

Still with me? Okay, let's carry on.

In case you don't hate us already, Prague wasn't our first choice. We originally booked a first-class trip to Belize with Aeroplan points. About three weeks before our flight left, we got a call informing us that our flight was no longer 'economically viable', and had been cancelled. Oh, and all the money that we'd spent on our hotel? Yeah, that was down the tubes.

In case you weren't aware, Aeroplan can cancel your flight at any time, and all they have to do is refund your miles and your cash. My favorite part - and, of course, no one at Aeroplan told me this - was that our flight had been cancelled in May, but that Aeroplan didn't see fit to inform us of this fact until September. When I pointed out that this was a rather lax view of customer service, they told me to pound salt.

So, here's my recommendation: if you currently collect Aeroplan miles, switch to something else. Anything else. Personally, I'm going for the RBC Avion card. Also: I have so not given this up.

To add insult to injury, we had a week that we needed to fill, and still needed to fly somewhere. So, we had to suck up our pride and go back to Aeroplan to get our flight. After much trial and error, we found a flight to somewhere interesting that didn't have a $600 fuel surcharge hanging on for the ride. Destination: Prague.

We decided to spend the whole week in the one city. A.) I wasn't in the mood for death-travelling, and B.) It's the kind of city that you can take a week to see. Oh, and C.) Pints of beer cost less than $2.

We left this past Thursday at around 2:00 pm. Andrea left work early, while I'd spent the day packing and tidying up around the condo. (The joys of being "retired".) The flight was more-or-less a straight shot, Ottawa to Frankfurt overnight and then a quick hop to Prague on Friday morning.

I don't mind transtlantic travel - the drinks are free, and those new entertainment centres are actually pretty decent. I drank a few Heineken, watched Get Smart, and promptly fell asleep until around 8:00 am. Unfortunately, due to the time change, that meant that I only got around 3 hours of sleep that night.

The flight from Frankfurt to Prague was decent. Lufthansa knows how to do in-flight food, that's for sure. None of this triple-reheated, dehydrated, rehydrated junk they serve you on most airlines. For breakfast, they served two small pieces of bread with a slice of cheese. And you know what? It was tasty. Unlike the tomato-sauce-and-whipped-beef mixture that Air Canada served the previous night.

We stayed at Hotel Sonata, which is between the New Town and Old Town, out by the National Museum. It was a four-star boutique hotel but, just like Cuba, four-stars in Europe are not like four-stars in North America. The decor was orange but stylish, and they served a pretty good breakfast. Also, despite being just off a major road, it wasn't very noisy.

As far as the hotel staff was concerned, they always seemed to give the impression that you were bothering them, and that they had more important things to do than talk to you - like surf the Internet and stare at the floor tiles.

Our first meal was a disaster. I asked for a nice local restaurant that served traditional fare. What we got was over-priced, dried-out Czech "specialties" served by someone who might well have a degree in hucksterism. But, we learned our lesson - in the future, we would read the menu posted on the outside of restaurants, and I'd stay away from the Becherovka - and the rest of our meals were great.

If you go to Prague, be prepared to walk. A lot. Andrea and I would spend as much as nine hours walking over the course of a single day. Over the course of the week, we probably spent more than two full days walking.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing, seeing as there's a plethora of delicious, sugary, fattening foods and cheap pints to be had. Walking's also the only real way to explore Prague, as the best parts of the city are not to be found in some guidebook, but are found in that cafe or restaurant tucked into a side street that no one's ever heard of.

Don't get me wrong - the touristy stuff is actually pretty good. There's beautiful architecture in the square, and the castle is beautiful. The beaten path has terrific stops on it, like the Reduta Jazz Club and Cafe Louvre. But, you know what? I'm going to miss the mulled wine they serve out of carts, Godmother Pizzeria, a mug of Grog at the Last Call, and the locals assuming (against all odds) that we're just a couple of Czechs sitting down to a meal.

The week came and went much too quickly.

Well, enough of that. Time for the photos.

The National Theatre in Prague

A Small Orchestra Performs in one of the Castle's Churches

One of the Churches at the Castle

The View from the Mini-Eiffel Tower

Prague Wall Art

A Cart That Serves Both Mulled Wine and Sausages - and Happiness

The Main Drag, as Seen from the Museum

Obligatory Tourist Shot Blocked by a German

Obligatory Tourist Shot

Still Weighting

For pretty much as long as I can remember, I've always been a few pounds overweight. Just how overweight depended on what I was up to at the time - mainly how much time I was spending at the gym and how many miles I was being made to run by the Army.

Of course, a person's weight is based on more than just how much time they spend on an elliptical machine or being chased by an angry Sergeant - it's also based on nutrition. Unfortunately, I happened to have some of the world's worst eating habits.

For example, I don't eat vegetables unless forced to do so at gunpoint. I'm also highly suspicious of a large number of sauces. Friends once played the game, "What will he eat?" and came to the conclusion that the easiest way to answer the question was to rephrase it as, "What will a four-year-old eat?"

My weight-wrestling was further complicated by a vain attempt to try the quick-fix diet that best fit with my food preferences: the Atkins Diet.

I'm going to say right now, for the record, that the Atkins diet is a horrible idea. It essentially forces your body into starvation mode, something that is next to impossible to maintain for a significant period of time.

Hence, when you come off the Atkins Diet, your body packs on the pounds like crazy, because it thinks it's just been rescued from a plane crash in the Andes. Also, you need to burn carbs for fuel, so your performance at any kind of physical activity suffers dramatically. All in all, it's bad stuff.

Why did I do it, then? Well, it was successful in knocking off a crazy amount of weight in a very short amount of time. Unfortunately, I gained it all back soon after going off that ridiculous diet.

As I've gotten older, I've noticed that a fair number of my friends are starting to take their health more seriously. Guys who wouldn't balk at the idea of eating two breakfast burgers in rapid succession are starting to slim down, and it got me thinking about my health, and the way I'm going to look as I get older.

Sometime around the start of the summer, I started watching some of the shows that Andrea had been watching on Slice for a while - shows like Last Ten Pounds Bootcamp and Bulging Brides. Amazingly enough, it turned out that exercise had to be balanced off by something known as "nutrition" to be effective. It's scary to say that I've learned all of my nutritional awareness on television, but that's exactly where I've learned it.

Armed with this new-found knowledge (and a Wii Fit), I set out once again to lose weight. I forswore cheese cake in favour of yogurt, chips for fruit, and cheeseburgers for chicken breasts. At the same time, I spent around 30 minutes a day on the Wii Fit, balancing and yoga-ing my way to a thinner Mii.

Wouldn't you know it? Diet and exercise actually works.

The thing that surprised me once is that now I actually crave health food. I get grumpy if I don't get to eat my fruit, chicken and yogurt. That isn't to say that I don't occasionally indulge myself, but at least I have an awareness of what it is that I'm actually eating.

So, now to see where all of this new-found knowledge actually leads. I don't think that I'll ever have an eight-pack or compete in the Olympics, but I do think I can reach a normal, healthy weight. And if that means that I can only have breakfast burgers once every month or two, then so be it.

(Though, alternatively, I could just use extra-lean ground beef, skim mozzarella and a whole wheat bun.)