2005:Year in Review

On the surface, 2005 was the year of waiting. I waited for my contract to be up, and then waited for a new university program or new job to come through. I checked my voice mail, e-mail, and normal mail religiously, waiting for the results of any one of the numerous plans that I'd put into motion.

On occasion, I've used the term "Quarter Life Crisis". Before I finished my contract, that term had no meaning to me. I thought it was something cooked up by psychologists to sell books to the growing legion of directionless 20-somethings that want someone else to tell them what they need to do in order to get things back on track.

Then, when my full time employment wound down, I went through my own "Quarter Life Crisis". After having gone through potential careers the way most people go through socks, I was trying to figure out once and for all what it was that I wanted to do with my life. I'd looked at a number of jobs in the past, but they almost always lost their lustre once I was close enough to see the real nuts and bolts. Despite my earlier leanings, I learned the hard way that money and prestige aren't enough.

Then, by the time I had decided what I wanted to do with my life, I was in real danger of being told that I didn't have the necessary skills and qualifications to do the job. Meanwhile, the appeal of playing video games and working part time was continuing to lose steam. I was getting fed up with waiting, and wanted nothing more than to be able to get a job and move on with my life. Finally, when it seemed as though I could wait no longer, the waiting came to an end.

Had you asked me a year ago, I would've said that I'd want nothing more than to have a job lined up immediately after the summer came to an end. Looking back from 2006, I'm glad for every second that I waited and that I had the opportunity to experience a "Quarter Life Crisis".

Now I know that I won't have to stop a year from now and wonder what it would've been like to take some time off, or if I could've gotten another, better job had I just taken the time to find something that really spoke to me. I've had time off, and it has none of the appeal of being at work and putting my life's energy into something that has meaning to me. I've had the opportunity to pursue other options, but have always ended up right back where I'd started.

At the start of 2006, having gone through this, I'm confident in saying that I'm happy with where I am and what I'm doing. I don't think I could've said the same at the start of 2005.

So, if that's where I've arrived, this is what I've learned:

- I have to take responsibility for what I do with my life. No one else is going to make sure that I'm on the right track. I need to be able to advocate for myself and explain what it is that I'm capable of, without ego or modesty.

- If I want friends to open up to me, I need to be willing to open up to them first.

- Family is a wonderful gift, no matter how painful it is to settle old disagreements.

- A life of carefree luxury is no substitute for a life of challenge and meaning.

- The greatest expressions of love are what we say without words.

- If we don't deal with things now, we deal with them later. With interest.

And, perhaps most importantly:

- Life is too short to be spent doing anything other than what you absolutely love.

Happy New Years, and my best to everyone in 2006.