Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Back in the Game

I feel as though I'm starting to get back into a routine, following my return last week. I suppose I bring it on myself, with all the traveling. Heaven forbid that I actually take a few days to get caught up and rest and relax, when there's so much else that needs to be done (or more aptly, that I would prefer to do) instead of getting my feet back on the ground.

Still no word from the NPSIA regarding the Master's. I suppose it's possible that they opted to mail out a letter rather than send the ever-impersonal e-mail. At this point, I really don't care what they have to say, I just want to know one way or another. Okay, that's a lie. I desperately want to get in.

There are times when I wonder if I'll have the work ethic needed to go back to school, or if I've grown soft from months of predictable routine and regular paycheques. While there are times that I envy the student life I left behind, there are aspects of the working world that I will be sad to put behind me, even if it's just for a year or so.

I suppose the major difference is that I'm passionate about the subject that I'll be studying. This is key, considering that I barely recognize the pimple-faced teenager that picked Cognitive Science as a major way back in the day. Not that it hasn't worked well for me, but looking at where I've ended up, it wasn't exactly the straightest line between the two points. Ah, well.

In the back of my mind is the sad realization that I've haven't tried particularly hard to get into grad school. Thus far, I've applied to one of them. I will be applying to the second by the end of the week but they started accepting applications in January. Hence, I've already given the competition a three month head start.

What gives? Am I confident that I'll get into the program that I applied for? Or did I shoot myself in the foot on purpose? I'm not really sure what the answer to that one is.

Jason and Jake are both tentative for skiing. Anyone else?


At 10:59 p.m., Blogger Channing said...

First, don't ever allow yourself the nescience of mistaking working for the army as "regular" work. You and I both know that that's a load of hooey. Working for the army is more akin to collecting EI and having to spend 8 hours a day in green pajamas than it is to a hard day's work... Or even an easy day's work.

Second, get your ass back in school. Don't get caught in the same trap as many other army lifers, who enjoy the pay so much, that they euphorically let the greed quell their own guilt of not having strived for more.

I'm not totally aware of your financial status, but I do believe that you are in a situation that allows for you to go to grad school with little pain in the finances department... So do it.

Sorry. Didn't mean to harp there, but on many occasions I nearly let the army take me hostage for good and I'm sure as hell glad that I got out when I did. I guess I'm just reminding you not to become complacent.

At 7:59 a.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why are you so worried?
You'll Get in.. This is what you were ment to do. I have always told you that, and i would'nt say it unless i was sure.

So just give it a week, i'm sure you will hear somthing.


At 8:38 a.m., Blogger Ryan said...

Channing: I think we can both safely say that, of all the easy class B slides available, mine was pretty sweet. Regular travel. A sense of autonomy. Working at a job that I actually believe in. I did enjoy it, and continue to do so.

Where you're absolutely right is the potential for the army to "take me hostage." If I wanted to do this for more than a year, I'd get out of the Reserves and join the Reg Force as an officer. This weekend warrior stuff is great for a while, but it's no way to live your life.

This "shooting myself in the foot" refers not so much to wanting to stay where I am, but not being ready to move forward. Maybe I'm just not hungry enough. Or maybe I need to spend a bit of time learning on my own and traveling first before I feel the fire lit under me. I'm not really sure.

But don't worry - I'm getting out of this contract in less than three weeks.

Jessica: I appreciate the vote of confidence. I hope this works out, and that this is what I'm meant to do. But I'm going to have a hard time convincing myself of this until I see that acceptance letter...

At 8:49 a.m., Blogger Channing said...

I think you'll get into grad school... But, if you don't... You can always fly your ass over to Korea!... I'd show you around.

At 1:03 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

You'll Get it. :)



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