Thursday, March 03, 2005

Questions! Answers?

Ah yes, it's that time again.

1.) Tell me about a good deed that you did that totally backfired. Like the time that Golden Words invited Charlton Heston to Beer Brewing, not knowing that he was a recovering alcoholic.

2.) What's your favorite thing to do on a lazy Sunday afternoon, when there's nothing that needs to be done any haven't a care in the world? What do you do to break the stress when the world's crashing down around you? (Either / both)

3.) Something 'suave' that someone tried to pull on a date that went horribly awry. Like the time when my friend Katherine was sitting on the couch and the guy she was on her first date with put his arm around her and full-on kissed her without warning. What was worse, he'd just finished a big bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, so it was like she was being force-fed liquid cinnamon through a moist, stubble-covered fire hose. True story.

4.) Most inopportune time that you ever had a case of the giggles.

Usual rules (all or some, show yourself or post anonymously) apply.


At 9:31 a.m., Blogger none said...

1. I guess I have been rather lucky...I haven't done any good deeds that have backfired. I have done some that haven't been appreciated but that is different.

2. My favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon would be to cuddle up with a good book or watch some old movies.

3. I was on this date once...the guy seemed nice when we first met but he turned out to be incredibly clumsy. We were out to dinner...and dancing...and he went to take my hand to help me up from my seat and in the process dumped an entire glass of red wine down the front of my white sweater. The night ended very early after that and we only saw each other once was very ackward.

4. I once got the giggles at a wasn't pretty!

At 11:15 a.m., Blogger JTL said...

1. Nothing particularly comes to mind, although having good deeds backfire seems like something which would be endemic to me. I'm sure something'll come to me by later today.

2. Brewing up a big pot of coffee and hunkering down on my couch (or, weather permitting, my porch) with a good book. Preferably something in a Vonnegut.

3. I'd wager to say girls are far less prone to try so-called "suave" ideas on dates than guys are. So, again, I'm drawing a blank here.

4. I've had the giggles in front of classes a few times, but I'm not the sternest teacher in the world, so they take it in stride. What comes to mind, though, is the time a kid in a physics class made such a well-placed Simpsons reference that it caused me to laugh so hard I had to go down on one knee.

At 1:31 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. I can't personally think of something nice that I've done that's backfired. However, my father once called my aunt Helen to wish her a Happy Birthday early in the morning. Immediately after she had picked up and said in a very groggy manner "Hello?", he launched into a very raucous rendition of the Happy Birthday song. Upon his completion of the song, the woman on the other end said "Who the hell are you and who the hell is Helen?". Every year after that he made sure to check the number before calling.

2. Laze around in bed with a sexy girl, read a good book or play some hockey (or ball hockey).

3. This is more of a mutual screw-up... and I warn you, it's not for the feint of heart.

I was once set up with a girl by a couple who were friends of ours. Her name was Michelle (changed of course to protect the guilty). After a crazy night of salsa dancing, we found ourselves back at home and getting pretty down and dirty. While in the middle of the act, she turned to me and asked me if I would indulge her in some anal sex. About 2 seconds and half an inch of penetration later, she was across the room crying in the fetal position for twenty minutes... whoops. Who's guilty here?

4. JTL, I know what you mean... And I love it when something makes you laugh so hard that it hurts. It's when it happens and you're not supposed to find it funny (or rather not supposed to be laughing), that it makes it even funnier.

I laughed out loud the other day when someone enlightened me about something that I was ignorant about and it surprised me causing me to chuckle. The only unfortunate thing was that this particular iota of knowledge happened to be something that the other person was very proud of. Laughing is a very natural thing sometimes, and while I didn't have a full-out grab your belly cause it hurts laughing fit, I still laughed and it offened the other person. Sometimes we have little control.

Jason Bourne

At 3:54 p.m., Blogger erin said...

1.) Tell me about a good deed that you did that totally backfired. Pretty much everything I try to do good in this world backfires on me.

2.) What's your favorite thing to do on a lazy Sunday afternoon, when there's nothing that needs to be done any haven't a care in the world? I wash my car to within an inch of its life.

What do you do to break the stress when the world's crashing down around you? Drink wine. Make lists.

3.) Something 'suave' that someone tried to pull on a date that went horribly awry.HAHA. Yessssssss...
This dude told me, suavely, that he had gone to "Clairvoyant School" (silly me for thinknig it wasn't the klind of thing one could LEARN in SCHOOL but, hey... who am I to judge?).

He rubbed my hand for a godo hour at least, and images would supposedly pop into his mind, from my childhood, my future, etc.

He was wrong a LOT.

So once he was done reading my fortune, he turned to me and said, "So, do you think YOU'RE clairvoyant? Why don't you rub on something of MINE for a while and see if anything, you know, pops up..."


He even waggled his eyebrows suggestively when he said it.

4.) Most inopportune time that you ever had a case of the giggles. I think it might have been a result of the dysentary, but when I was in Vietnam and my idiot ex-boyfriend was trying to have a temper tantrum all over me, I couldn't keep myself from laughing. This only infuriated him more.

Nice to meet ya...

At 7:31 p.m., Blogger Wandering Coyote said...

These are hard!

1. Once a few months ago while still in the training kitchen, a guy from culinary I found quite attractive, came into my kitchen, got some flour into a bowl, and wanted some yeast from the fridge. The fridges have a suction thing that can make them nearly impossible to open soon after they've just been closed. The infamous Chef M was doing a demo right in front of the fridge. This culinary student came over and I went to open the fridge door for him because his hands were full - yanking it like you have to when the suction is on. Only it didn't need it as it had been closed just long enought. As I reamed on the door, it flew open easily, but the force of my pull knocked the bowl of flour out of this guy's hand and all over Chef M's ass and the floor.

2. On a lazy Sunday afternoon, I like to just curl up with a really good book and listen to some good music. When the world's crashing down around me, I eat chocolate.

3. I can't think of anything for this one.

4. I get the giggles a lot. Once while I was a counsellor at a Christian camp when I was a teenager, I got a case of the giggles during bible study. The minister was a family friend and was good about it, but it went on and on.

At 10:26 a.m., Blogger Ryan said...

Before I begin, I think an interesting question's been raised about censorship on this blog.

Personally, I say that you can say whatever the hell you want. But, if you're a regular and you see something that you think is in really poor taste, do send me an e-mail and I'll see if I can't politely ask the poster to take it down.

Not that I think anyone would (or has) posted something that is in poor taste, but you never know when someone might have a personal reason for taking something the wrong way.

I'm thinking, of course, of Mr. Bourne's anal sex reference. Not that I think it's particularly offensive, but it's a close to toeing the line as we've seen so far. That is, assuming that orphans wearing clown shoes in a minefield doesn't offend you more. I really don't know.

But if something offends you in a more than passing way, shoot me an e-mail. Otherwise, laissez-faire.

I really liked the story about Helen, incidentally. As well, the guy who claimed to have gone to "psychic school" was also pretty damned hilarious.

And you know you're in for a good story when it starts with, "It may have been a result of the dysentary, but..."

This comment is already stupidly long, but I'm going to toss in my two cents as well.

1. I volunteer with a guy who's developmentally delayed. It's usually a lot of fun - we hang out, play video games, that sort of thing. But he likes to play "practical jokes" whereby he messes around with lights and switches when he's on his way out for the night. This was fine in the Caprice Classic. But when a guy's leaving dirty handprints and flipping switches and opening compartments with wreckless abandon in a Mercedes, it's hard not to wince just a little.

2. Make a big breakfast (breakfast bagels, for those of you who've been to the cottage), brew a big pot of coffee, smoke a pipe and read a good book.

If the world's crashing down around me, I play XBox. Or Fantasy General. Best. Game. Ever.

3. I like it when girls are a little on the assertive side, but when someone's downright aggressive, I really don't know how to handle it. One time, a girl started dancing with me, but the dance floor was so crowded that I didn't even notice. Apparently, she told my girlfriend of the time to back off. Yeah, not a good idea. A fistfight almost ensued.

4. It's not when it happens, so much as the extent. It always seems to be when my family gets together. We have very similar senses of humour. When I start laughing that hard, it's almost impossible to stop. I double over, my face turns bright red, and I don't actually make noise. I just kind of shake. It's really embarrasing.

That's it, that's all. Feel free to continue posting. Especially you lurkers. That's right, I'm talking to you, Lurky McLurkerson.


Post a Comment

<< Home