The Fear

I was being capricious when I said I had a job interview. To be precise, I will be writing four separate aptitude tests that will determine whether or not I get the job. Now, for the first time in about six years, I've started to seriously sit down and study for an exam.

Oh, I've studied for exams before, but it was always with the goal of acquiring the minimum mark required to succeed, and no more. Well, this has changed. This is my livelihood that we're talking about here, and I'm taking it very, very seriously.

I have the Fear.

Whether you like it or not, fear is an excellent motivator, and I've been riding it like a rollercoaster, building up momentum for when those tests roll around. SATs. GREs. LSATs. Terminology. Verbiage. I wake up in the morning, and all I can think of is what I need to study next.

It's not that I merely want to do well on this exam. I want to destroy this exam. I will massacre it. I want it to explode into a million pieces of exam-shrapnel, unable to bear the weight of so many brilliant answers. I want it to evolve into pure energy as I write it.

Until May 11th, baby.