You So Funny

I'm sick of talking about myself. Today, I'm going to talk about you. That is, the bloggers on my side bar. So, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to take a quick glance at each of your blogs and pull my favorite quote from it.

"The only thing miraculous about birth is that something that large comes out of something that small. Also, to all the ladies in the crowd: GET THE EPIDURAL. PLEASE." - Cameron

"I don't think anyone should ever walk in the city without a funny looking animal leading the way. Everyone smiles at you and cars tend to stop at intersections to let you pass. It's like a baby, but without the 18-year commitment thing. In conclusion, dogs!" - Susan

"Speaking of dad, how come he chose one of the years I'm in Japan to take all the kids to Cuba? Oh well, I'm hoping to go get my fill of second/third world country with cheap everything in May by going to Thailand. My friend Meghna is going to go with me more than likely. She'll be going to represent Scarborough in the international "ass-end of an otherwise quite nice city" track meet." - Seth

"And then all of the sudden, you hear this one noise that's just really fully unmistakably two people having sex in the next room, and you're like "Whoa, okay, got it!" And then you go back into your room and turn the music way up, kind of like you're hiding, right? And then you realize that you just spent like two or three full minutes listening to a couple of people having sex in the next room, and you feel really weird and bad about yourself? You know that feeling?" - Matt

"Today, Chris becomes the first of my cohort to take the final bold step towards his thirties. As always, he is a forward looking man, unafraid of his future and confidently striding wherever fate takes him. As always, the rest of us cower behind him and make sure that if God’s waiting around the corner with a big hammer, we’ve got enough of a lead to make a decent run for it in the opposite direction." - Mike

"When you make a career out of leering at the fine young asses of female interns, be sure to purchase pants one size larger than is required so as to not blatantly showcase your icky and bizarrely-angled penis during inevitable erections." - Sofi

"I was going to do a lot of work today, but then I found this shoddily made, but very funny, Harry Potter dating sim flash game. You don’t actually play as Harry Potter, but you can invite him to the dance. His responses are pretty funny. On my first play through I almost got with Ginny, but Snape and Dumbledore liked me too. I will not rest until I take Hermione to the dance! Edit (15:22): Stupid Hermione is such an ice queen." - Tavis

"Someone found this page by searching on Yahoo for the words "japanese beaver". I somehow doubt they got what they were looking for from my blog." - Jason

"In addition, I'm pretty sure that your house (given that the layout is mirror image of my house) comes fully equipped with indoor plumbing, so I'd appreciate if you would not pee on my house, thank you. " - Erin

"E: 'You smell like eyeliner.'
Lang: 'What does that smell like? Clowns?'
E: 'It smells like fear.'" - Lang

"A couple weeks ago I was riding my bike to work, and when I got to the stoplight at Timmy's my gaze wandered to the minivan next to me. Specifically, it was the wheels I glanced at. They were ridin' spinnaz. Bright, shining, unceasing spinnaz. The fucking minivan, with the kids in the back and the quietly-aging mother behind the wheel with the bumper stickers proclaiming that teachers do it in the classroom, that minivan was letting them keep spinnin'. Word, homes. Word. " - Eve

"I went to the gym this morning and found that I hadn't properly locked my basket and someone had stolen a few items: 1). A pair of very old smelly shoes, 2). My bar of soap.
I don't understand why anyone would take these but I guess they were really desperate for athletes foot or something. Enjoy, chump!" - Riz

"Reason Hilary Duff Probably Digs Me #5: Check out this goddamn handstand. Hup! [flawless handstand]" - Jay

"In the winter, when it's -40° outside, there's no way in hell I'm leaving my apartment for any reason short of Armageddon or being out of Diet Coke." - Nee

"Neil: 'Oh, that's a good choice, the Philly Cheesesteak. Marinated Triple A Prime Rib in that one. '
Customer: 'Yeah, no mad cow in it though, right? Ha ha ha.'
Tyler: (cutting sandwich and wrapping it up) 'Lady, the only mad cows are the ones who didn't get cut up and put into this delicious sandwich.'" -Neil

No slight intended if I didn't pull a quote from you - general rule of thumb was to use quotes from blogs that are updated every few days or so. Failing that, if I couldn't pull a quote (after about 5 minutes worth of effort) that wasn't hee-haw-larious, then I didn't post it. Sorry.

If people would like to contribute, they can pull their favorite quotes from any blog and post them in comments. You can even post from your own blog, if you want.